Thursday, February 16, 2006
I woke up with a bloated eyes today. As if someone gave me abig punch to both of my eyes. My head ache so bad. And my nose.. it's running like nobody’s business. Im ill. My heart hurts, I don't even know why.
It has been a while since I was at the lowest. I'd never thought I'd feel this kind of feeling again. The time when everything's just not in place. When I, myself, expect too much of me.
And this time, I've pushed myself to the edge.
I can understand if some people don't get me. Why did I was so let down of things that a mature adult can handle without freaking out like I do. But I have a lot of things that I need to consider everytime I make a step in this life of mine. The pressure is on me.
I was okay, until someone pulls the trigger. And I just burst with angst. It's like a bin that already holds a lot of things in it, and one day.. someone put a can of coke on top of the pile… and somehow the bin cannot hold any longer.. the things fell down.. it just cant hold everything inside it no more. The bin has a capacity. And this time, it is more than it can handle.
So I stepped off..
... from this life..
...for a moment...
I'm all at sea, where no one can bother me. Forgot my roots. If only for a day. Just me and the thoughts, sailing far away.
Like a warm drink it sips into my soul. Please just leave me right here on my own, later on you could spend some time with me, if you want to, all at sea..
Im all at sea.. where no one can bother me. I sleep by myself. I drink on my own. I don't speak to nobody. I gave away my phone
You don't need it everyday, but sometimes don't you just crave
To disappear within your mind, you'll never know what you might find
So come and spend some time with me, we will spend it all at sea..