Sunday, July 30, 2006
I'm grateful..
Sometimes when self-pity struck my muse, i found a way to lift myself up again. It's called the "I'm grateful.." game. The rule is simple. Think of whatever you have in this life and let your heart be grateful of it. I usually do it like this..
I'm grateful that..
..I have You, The Almighty, that guides me in every single second of my life,
..I am still being given the opportunity to treasure my surroundings; the trees, the flowers, all the living substances around and above me; the sky, the sun, the moon, the stars, the air that I breath in..,
..I am also blessed with a family who still care a lot about me,
..I have my babe who loves me unconditionally,
..I have my wonderful friends to laugh together,
..I have a nice job and working environment,
..I have a nice unit to live in,
..I have an old but still a good car to drive,
..I have just enough money to do my groceries and pay my bills,
..I have my credit card to cover the rest that I cannot afford on,
..I have my nice comfy bed to sleep in at night,
..I have a phone to let me call my family back home,
...
And usually after this point, my heart feel contained..
Somehow, I have a lot more to be thankful at than to be whinged at
Thank You God..
Sunday, July 23, 2006
synergy
Coming together is a beginning;
keeping together is progress;
working together is success.
- Henry Ford
BA Team @ LinkQ, 21 July 2006
Thursday, July 20, 2006
10 reasons why superwoman is super
1. superwoman never sighs
2. superwoman could cook a couple of delicious dishes and clean her entire house and still can do some heroic-life-savings after that without even feeling tired
3. superwoman never get flustered
4. superwoman never feel jealous over stupid things
5. superwoman does not have those PMS moment
6. superwoman is not afraid sleeping in the dark
7. superwoman does not cry watching “13 going on 30”
8. superwoman does not get awfully jolly after drinking some cups of caffeine
9. superwoman does not spend days thinking how to pay her bills
10. superwoman does not take the bus to go to train station. She flies, remember?
Monday, July 17, 2006
Fear
Of these times I've realized that fear is one to be confronted, not to run away from. It is something that we must contend no matter how difficult. Because no matter how far you're running away from it, it only just gets bigger and bigger. Your wariness of nothingness ballooned.
Fear of problems wouldn't make the problems fade away. Fear of your Credit Card statement doesn't make the debt balance become $0.00. Fear of love doesn't make you any happier. Fear of saying 'No' doesn't make your life a lot easier. Fear of sleeping alone in your own room only ends in your comfy bed inside your room left untouched for however long you decided to be afraid and slept on a thin mattress in the living room.
Because life goes on no matter what.
At one point I decided to confront my fear. I was tired of being scared. I was tired of being weak. I was sick for being whatever people expect me to be. It must have been those times when I had my mood swing along with excess sugar consumption.
So I faced them one by one. I looked at them closely. I spent a lot of time seeing them. I was so scared facing the truth of my life I cried and cried and cried. But then I reached the peak; the moment where I gave in. It's the moment where I allow myself to let go. To accept my life as it is.
During these times as well I become more and more aware that I am nothing without Him. I can feel the changes within me whenever I'm far from Him. It always the times when I am distant with Him when I feel so restless, uncontrollably anxious, unexplainably hates every single tiny thing. My heart slowly dies.
At some point today I remember how I used to let go. That everything in this life is not mine. I have to be careful; in my thoughts, in my hearings, in my deeds, in my words.
If hurt, let Him do the punishment, not you. If being treated unfair, let Him do the justice, not you. If puzzled, let Him tells you right from wrong, not other people.
Bitching about other people never give you any good. Two wrongs wouldn't make things fair enough. Being overly-anxious doesn't help solve the problem.
So here I am, facing all of my fears. It turns out that I am bigger than my fears, even after all of them are combined together.
...
Get down on my knees and I pray to God
Hope He sees me through till the end..
Saturday, July 15, 2006
11.40 PM
Always when you hold me close to you, on my silence my heart started praying..
"Oh God please let this last.."
Nighty night, babe..
Love you
~sending you a big hug~
Saturday, July 08, 2006
My pure ecstasy..
currently playing: unbelievable - Craig David
so we've passed 5 seasons now.. winter, spring, summer, autumn and winter again.
do you know that my favourite seasons of all are autumn and spring? because on those season, i can hold your hands freely without getting worried that our hands all clammy by our overly-perspired-hands ;)
happy anniversary, babe..
if my life is written on a book, the pages which tells my feeling towards you would be blank. there are no words as beautiful as what i felt now..
i love you.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
myself to contemplate
hidup ini hanya sementara
yg kamu punya bisa hilang dalam sekejap kalau Yang Maha Kuasa menghendaki
jangan samakan syukur dengan tinggi hati
berserah diri selalu..
I can feel this enormous bitterness inside my soul
I cant seem to control my emotions
I feel lost and insecure
ketenangan yg selalu ada kini hilang
manusia mudah lupa diri saat berada di atas segalanya
berapa kali roda itu harus berputar?
...
Sunday, July 02, 2006
bayangin aja..
when weekend is the only time for you to clean your messed-up home. and you started in the morning so that by afternoon you can relax and enjoy not doing anything; starting from your room, and then clean the living room, wash the dishes, cleaning the bathrom sink and clean the mess that your neighbour did when (s)he somehow kicked your plant and the plan and all the soil came out of the pot.
after 2 hours of cleaning, you feel FILTHY.
all you need is a long warm shower
but hey, guess what happened?
AER PANASNYA MATI AJA LHO.
pusing gue.
so yea, i just had a 'nice' long cold shower in this frikin 7 degrees weather.
seriously, not in a good mood today.